Starting school gifts: for their fears and excitement

Separation anxiety is the most common worry in the first year of school, whether it's called Kindergarten, Prep, Reception, Pre-primary or Transition where you live. It often doesn't show on the first day, when everything is new and exciting, but a week or two later, once the excitement wears off. That's why a gift the child carries with them works — something that brings "home" to mind even at their desk: a small bag tag with a photo of the family or the pet, a soft keyring for a pocket, a note hidden in the pencil case. The key is that it's small — a big toy usually can't come to school, and left at home it won't help them there.

The other way in is a story. A child who "rehearses" the first day of school in a book then lives it as something they already know. Classic picture books about starting school work well, but a story in which the child is the hero — with their own name and likeness, a friend or sibling by their side — is even stronger. You can create a personalised book like that from a single photo; the digital version is usually ready within 15 minutes and the printed one arrives within 7 working days, so order the print well before the summer holidays end.

A child who is excited about reading will love a book they'll genuinely be able to read alone in a few months. To get that right, it helps to know how reading is taught at their school.

For lots of children, starting school is above all a promotion. A gift that confirms it means more than another toy.

The trip to school is the first part of the day when a new school starter is out of sight of both parents and teachers — even if you still hold their hand, they know that one day they'll go alone. The best gift here combines a thing with time spent together: a reflective jacket, vest or bag tags, plus a few weekend walks along the route where the child leads and you simply follow.

Reflective gear isn't just for show. Drivers see a child in reflective gear much sooner on dim winter mornings and late afternoons. Bright tags shaped like animals get worn far more willingly than a plain strip, so they work as a gift too.

Some children aren't looking forward to school because they've heard about tests and homework and are afraid they'll fail. A workbook "for practice" only confirms that fear: the gift says they're going to be judged. Games in which the child counts, reads or plans without noticing they're learning work better — dice games, card games with adding up, memory games with letters. For tips on choosing them by what the child can already do, see Getting ready for school: gifts that teach through play.

One more thing parents do with the best intentions: promise a reward for the first top mark. For a child who's afraid of not coping, that's one more bar to clear. Let the start-of-school gift be for going to school, not for how well it goes.

Short notes for the pencil case or the lunchbox. A child just starting school can read only a few letters, so write big, clear and short — or draw a picture.