Walking to school: reflective gear, a practised route

There is no magic age at which a child is ready to walk without an adult. It is the parent's call, and the responsibility that comes with it. The school or after-school care will usually just want to know in writing whether your child leaves on their own or is picked up — without that note, staff won't let them go by themselves.

That is why age is the wrong yardstick. It is better to ask about specific skills. Does your child stop at the kerb on their own, even mid-conversation? Do they look right, left and right again, or just turn their head? Do they know what to do when the pedestrian light is green but a car is still coming? Can they say no to a friendly adult who offers them a lift?

A realistic look at the route helps too. A five-minute walk along a quiet street with a footpath is something a child in their first year of school can manage much sooner than twenty minutes that include crossing a four-lane road with no lights. Younger children are worse at judging how fast a car is approaching, and a friend on the other side of the street easily distracts them. So it pays to start with a shorter stretch and build independence bit by bit, rather than all at once on the first day of the school year in late January or February.

Reflective material doesn't glow by itself; it just sends light back to where it came from — the driver. So it only works where a car's headlights reach: low down and on the side of the body. A tag tucked behind the back or high on the shoulder looks nice, but a driver heading towards your child will barely see it. A pedestrian in dark clothes is noticed only at the last moment, while reflective gear can be picked up from much further away.

Rules on reflective gear for pedestrians vary from place to place, and for a walk to school along lit streets it is rarely compulsory. But on winter mornings children often set off at dawn or in the dark, and the difference in visibility is just the same. The simplest rule for a child: reflective gear is like a hat — in winter, you don't leave home without it.

Try it together: one evening, shine a torch at the school bag and jacket from a distance. Whatever lights up is working. Whatever stays dark needs adding or moving.

Being able to reach you mostly calms you down; it doesn't replace your child's own independence. A phone in hand at a crossing is more of a risk than a help — agree that it only comes out on the way in an emergency. A kids' smartwatch with calling has the advantage that children don't treat it like a screen full of games; what to look out for is covered in Smartwatches for kids: a gift that brings responsibility.

On a bike or scooter, different rules apply than for pedestrians, and they depend on where you live — check the local road rules before your child rides to school. A child in their first year of school shouldn't be riding on the road alone, and a well-fitted helmet belongs on every ride.

Practise the bus trip the same way as the walk: where to get on, how many stops, when to press the button and what to do if they miss their stop. The answer should always be the same — get off at the next one and call you.

Starting school — whether it is called Kindergarten, Prep, Reception, Pre-primary or Transition where you live — is a big change for a child even without walking alone. What helps new school starters handle their worries is in A gift for a school starter: based on what they fear and look forward to. Some children get used to a new situation best through a story they appear in themselves — in a personalised book, the hero looks like your child from their photo and carries their name.