A gift for your granddaughter: ideas by age and inscription

This article is a signpost. Each chapter has its own section of tips below and links to a separate article for the details.

A toddler can't tell what a gift cost, but within half a minute she knows whether she can handle it on her own. Under three, the winners are things she can carry, open, tip out and stack over and over: a sturdy board book that survives chewing, wooden puzzles with chunky pieces, a little set of pots and pans for a play kitchen, something to pull along on a string.

The most common mistake grandparents make is the toy that does too much. When it lights up, talks and drives itself, the child is left with one job: pressing the button. It also pays to turn around the idea that "big means generous": a metre-tall teddy takes up half the room, is hard to wash, and in a year she won't pick it out from all the others.

Three questions that filter a toddler gift before you pay: can it be washed, will it fit in a cupboard, and what will the child do with it on her own, without an adult? Detailed tips by skill are in the article on gifts for a one-year-old. And one practical note on the inscription: under three, it isn't your granddaughter who reads it, it's her parents. So you are writing for her in the future and for them right now.

Between three and six, her own name is the most interesting word in the world. A preschooler is always playing at being someone: Mum, a doctor, a princess who rescues the dragon. A gift in which she is the main character meets exactly that need.

In practice that means dress-ups and props for role play, a toy kitchen or doctor's kit, a stamp with her name, a bag with her monogram. And a book in which your granddaughter appears herself: for a personalised book you enter her name and one photo, from which an illustrated heroine is created, and the story unfolds over 12 spreads. The digital version is usually ready within 15 minutes, so you can manage it even at the last minute; the printed copy arrives in about 7 working days, so order that one ahead of time. How such a book is made is covered in the article on a personalised book for a child.

At this age she usually doesn't read on her own yet, but she loves to listen, again and again. A gift you can sit down with in the evening lasts far longer than one that can only be unwrapped once. If your preschooler is more of a listener than a page-turner, a recorded version of the story works too: she can listen while building, or in the car, where there's no free hand or light for a book.

Once she starts school, a new factor enters the choice: what will the others say? A gift that is "for little kids" gets put aside, even if she'd otherwise enjoy it, and she'll rarely say so out loud; she'll just leave it lying there.

At the same time, reading ability spreads wide in this group. One seven-year-old reads a whole chapter on her own, another battles through two pages and needs more pictures than text. So choose by reading stamina, not by school year: a comic, a book with short chapters or an audiobook is a better pick for a slower reader than a thick novel that will sit on her bedside table for two years like a reproach. Specific tips are in the article on books for 8 to 10-year-olds.

The other thing that works better than an object at this age is a gift that continues: a pottery class, a children's magazine subscription, tickets to a show, a day trip planned for next month. Grandparents usually have what parents don't have in an ordinary week: time. Wrapped-up time takes no room in her bedroom, can't be had twice, and stays in a child's memory longer than a thing. If you wrap it at least symbolically (a ticket, a little map, a handwritten voucher), she has something to unwrap, which for younger children is half the fun.

The inscription is the one part of the whole gift that nobody but you can write. Five steps that give you a text of four to six sentences.

The wording below is a skeleton, not finished text: swap the name, date and memory in square brackets for your own, or it will sound like a shop-bought card. More versions and common mistakes are in the article on book inscriptions.

Parents and grandparents have named these mistakes so many times that they deserve a list of their own.

When you live in another city or another state, the brief changes. The gift isn't only there to delight; it also reminds her that you're part of her life. What works for that is something with your voice or your handwriting in it, not a pricier box.

Regularity beats size: a short letter once a month, a postcard from every trip, a recorded bedtime story she can play whenever she likes. A good long-distance gift also adds no work for her parents: it doesn't need assembling, charging or driving anywhere.

An idea for the long run is a box that gains one letter and one photo every year and is opened in an agreed year. How to start one and what goes in it is covered in the article on a letter to the future. The hardest part isn't the idea but the first sentence, and you've already sorted that out a few paragraphs above.